“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
Mark Twain

I just love this quote. When I first heard it, I laughed so much because, as silly as it sounds, it is literally how we experience life. The mind is always going into overdrive to fix every little problem or issue it perceives and yet the majority of these are not real, they are instead our perception of something that our thinking has decided is a problem, based on every other experience we have ever had in our lives up to that point. And because most of our fears and worries are about what might (or might not) happen in the future, we aren’t even worrying about something real – only one possibility out of an infinite potential. I’m actually exhausted just thinking about that as I type the words out!

So how do we stop this and get a handle on what’s real that actually needs our attention? I’ve found the following three things to be really helpful and I use them as soon as I am able to notice that it’s got uncomfortable inside and my mind has gone into overdrive.

Down-slant projections

When we really get worked up about something we tend to think of the worse-case scenarios which we want to avoid at all cost and then the mind focuses on these perceived issues and frantically tries to find ways to stop them happening. The problem with this is that our focus is narrowed to the point where other possibilities (especially more positive outcomes) can’t even make an appearance on our mental landscape because down-slant projections are very powerful and addictive to the mind. Once we start a down-slant projection, it can snowball very quickly until we have an avalanche of thoughts to deal with, and at that point our sense of what is actually present and real and is no longer clear. We have left the current moment behind and can’t take a reality check to ask “How am I right now?” and 99.99% of the time, we are always absolutely fine.

As soon as you notice yourself spiralling down in your thinking, try moving your thoughts to a more neutral position – it is incredibly empowering to instead observe what is going on inside without getting emotionally drawn in. This gives you the space to think more clearly and for fresh new ideas and perspectives to come in that can often provide the solution we need.

You can also try up-slanting (thinking about all the best-case scenarios that are also possible outcomes for the current issue/situation, no matter how unlikely these might be). This can be harder to do than neutral, so try doing this at first to the level that feels authentic for you. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

The best thing about neutral or up-slant thinking is that it increases your vibratory rate and your magnetic draw increases, making it easier to bring about the outcome that you really want. It’s the Law of Attraction in action.

Judgements and comparison
Judgements feel different to heart-felt decisions or discernments. Whilst we may have to make decisions or discernments that don’t make us feel good inside (because they may result in us having to do or realise something difficult or uncomfortable), judgements instead drain our energy and feel more negative and toxic. They lower our vibratory rate and when we judge, there is always a winner and a loser – we always judge something to be good or bad in some way or another. It is really hard to let go of judgement, we judge all the time to varying degrees, so to see where this is draining you, always use your inner feeling as your compass to guide you. Take an honest look inside and try to reframe your thinking when your judgment has impacted your well-being.

Comparison (another form of judgement) always makes me feel bad and it took me a long time to see this pattern in myself. One day I suddenly saw how every time I felt bad and my thinking had spiralled, was a result of me comparing what I did/did not have versus the world around me. It was a very powerful lesson and as soon as I’d seen this pattern for what it was, I was able to take a deep breath and release it.

Make a concerted effort to notice where you are making comparisons and let them go. Your energy and outlook will change instantly.

Our histories
The past really gets in the way of current reality and our histories are like huge heavy sacks that drag us down. Our past experiences are the baggage that we carry around that colour our present experience and they really get in the way. For example, think about how you interact with people that you know: in relationships, our interactions are always experienced through the lens of shared histories which is great if your experience with that person has been good, but it really hinders if your past experience wasn’t great. And in terms of reality, we never see people we know well as they truly are now – in the moment – neither do we see ourselves in the same way. We need to take the learning from our histories and not the behaviours – this is where the growth is.

To start letting go of your baggage, do this simple meditation:

Sit and get quiet and think about all of the thoughts, feelings and behaviours you are carrying around with you that change the way you see the world. Visualise all of that as a big sack that is attached to you, weighing you down. See how much it gets in the way and how tiring it is to have to endlessly carry it around. Then visualise yourself cutting the baggage away and handing it off to a higher source (whatever that might be for you) and feel how light and free you have become. Bask in the feelings of relief and freedom for a while before coming back to the room. Finish the meditation by resolving to notice the heaviness of that baggage if it creeps back in and do your best to let it go.

Free Family Mindfulness eBook

Sign up to receive my FREE Family Mindfulness eBook.

Learn easy mindfulness techniques that the whole family can do together to become mindful and present in minutes.

You have successfully signed up! Please head to your inbox for your free Ebook